End of an era that I’m not ready to finish

I’m not really sure when, but at some point in our lives we hit an age where we have to accept we have officially reached adulthood. I’m currently refusing to accept that 18 is that age because, although in the eyes of the law me and most of my friends are now adults, I can’t quite take in the pace at which we are growing up.

Growing up. It’s a scary thought in itself. I decided to write this post because nostalgia has hit and all I really want right now is to be 18 forever. Last week I was performing ‘Jesus Christ Superstar’ with a theatre company I have been a member of since I was 6. The final performance on Saturday was even more memorable than usual however because it was the last time I’ll perform with them (at least for a little while) – exams and uni are calling.

I can’t quite explain what that feels like. This company has been such a big part of my life throughout all of my childhood and I don’t want to move on yet. I have met people who will be some of my best friends for years to come and I know for a fact that I am the person I am today because of them. Some of my friends are also leaving now this show has finished, so at least I’m not alone in my emotions.

Isn’t it weird how when you’re younger you feel like things like this will just carry on forever. I don’t ever remember stopping to think about how parts of my life will inevitably change at some point. And now I’m faced with them changing quicker than I ever expected.

Now the show has finished I feel a little bit lost. I’ve gone from being on such a high, to feeling like everything is changing too fast. And that just makes me want to cry and spend a good few days on the sofa in my dressing gown.

Here’s some pictures of me at the after show party on Saturday. I distinctly remember feeling too happy (and too drunk) to do anything but smile at how amazing this 12 year long experience has been. I want to hold on to it for as long as possible.

And here’s two more at the theatre. I couldn’t be more grateful for all the memories and laughter. I’ll never forget them.